The 'Stache; Week 2.
Welp, this past Sunday, in miraculous fashion, Rex Grossman crawled out of his hole and saw his shadow… Which, of course, means: Two more weeks of moustache! That’s right, with the Bears’ Superbowl hopes still alive, so too lives on the moustache. Personally, I’m pretty excited that the ‘stache got a two week reprieve; it’s been both an amazing and eye-opening experience sharing my time with it for the past week.
Fist of all, everyone that I know has either told me that my cultivation of the most awesome facial hair ever is either, “The greatest thing they’ve ever seen,” or, “Retarded.” So, I’m not going to claim to be winning over the masses with the hypnotic power of my ‘stache , but it’s definitely entertaining - at least to me.
Secondly, anyone worried about the hygienics behind owning a moustache of your very own, trust me, once it grows in, it automatically becomes the cleanest part of your body. Mine gets dipped into 100+ proof alcohols so often, doctors have performed open-heart surgery on top of it (or some other “ridiculously sterile” analogy.) And the smell? No problem… If you drink a wide enough array of liquors, it’s a venerable potpourri of freshness under your nostrils. Why, just this weekend, some Jager, tequila, whiskey, and PBR combined to create a sort of ivy-vine, wheat grass, pomegranate odor; pleasant to the max.
Finally, your moustache will instantly become the life of any party. Granted, people could give a fuck about you… But your ‘stahce - that guy’s alright. Seriously, if you grow one, all weekend long people will approach you and say, “Hey, Beastie Boys, alright! Sabotage! Yeeaaah!” And once you hit them with a “Cochese” reference, they will, I repeat, they will, freak the fuck out and buy you a drink. It’s great.
As for the accuracy involved in this Sabotage theory, it may actually be a case-to-case scenario, but I’ll let you be the judge.
I dunno… Either way, it’s going to be a ruckus couple of weeks.
In other news, this guy is fucking awesome.
Fist of all, everyone that I know has either told me that my cultivation of the most awesome facial hair ever is either, “The greatest thing they’ve ever seen,” or, “Retarded.” So, I’m not going to claim to be winning over the masses with the hypnotic power of my ‘stache , but it’s definitely entertaining - at least to me.
Secondly, anyone worried about the hygienics behind owning a moustache of your very own, trust me, once it grows in, it automatically becomes the cleanest part of your body. Mine gets dipped into 100+ proof alcohols so often, doctors have performed open-heart surgery on top of it (or some other “ridiculously sterile” analogy.) And the smell? No problem… If you drink a wide enough array of liquors, it’s a venerable potpourri of freshness under your nostrils. Why, just this weekend, some Jager, tequila, whiskey, and PBR combined to create a sort of ivy-vine, wheat grass, pomegranate odor; pleasant to the max.
Finally, your moustache will instantly become the life of any party. Granted, people could give a fuck about you… But your ‘stahce - that guy’s alright. Seriously, if you grow one, all weekend long people will approach you and say, “Hey, Beastie Boys, alright! Sabotage! Yeeaaah!” And once you hit them with a “Cochese” reference, they will, I repeat, they will, freak the fuck out and buy you a drink. It’s great.
As for the accuracy involved in this Sabotage theory, it may actually be a case-to-case scenario, but I’ll let you be the judge.
I dunno… Either way, it’s going to be a ruckus couple of weeks.
In other news, this guy is fucking awesome.
posted by Tyler at 12:04 AM
2 Comments:
Wow, I made that joke on your myspace just before I read this blog. I did NOT mean to Graham you.
Yeah, that seems about right...
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