The Dubba on 60 Minutes.

George W. Bush was on Sixty Minutes tonight, and somehow he didn't come off looking stupid… Of course this arouses the obvious question, has CBS been bought out by Fox News? What's going on? I’m confused.

I don‘t know, maybe it’s not that conservative media has delved its rusted fishhooks of manipulation into the Sixty Minutes empire, maybe it’s just that the process in general is at fault. I mean, watching The W in a live interview is an amazing comedic experience. There’s just so much going on; clichéd phrases borrowed from Sergio Leone movies, facial expressions mirroring several different genus of lower primates, and my personal favorite, his heroic struggle with three syllable words. However, on Sixty Minutes, not so much.

The interview was filmed in advance, edited, and probably prescreened for approval by a White House press staff. And, while I’m sure it’s fun for some people to watch Scott Pelley lob softballs at the president, it just doesn’t create that certain mystique of political entertainment for me. Furthermore, I’m fairly certain that the interview questions are given to the president’s chief of staff beforehand, thoroughly eliminating any chance of the president getting caught off guard by anything. This is undeniably what led to The W looking intelligent, and you know what? I don't really even care if he looks good on national television. I mean, I sort of want the chief executer of our country to look competent - trust me, it's a good thing... What really pisses me off, though, is that it gave him a plethora of opportunities to give us all, “The Look.”

Those of you who know me already know what I’m talking about, but for those of you who don’t, here’s some exposition. Whenever The W says something that he deems particularly clever or feels like he really, really defeated the interviewer in verbal combat, he gets this little grin on his face. A ridiculously devilish grin that makes it seem like there's this big inside joke that I'm not in on or something. Like, after the interview, him and Dick Cheney, and probably Arnold Schwarzenegger, will all get together in a smoking lounge at the lower levels of some clandestine castle and laugh about how stupid they think I am. I can almost imagine exactly how it goes...

Dick:	Good job on Sixty Minutes tonight George, you didn't tell them anything about what's really going on.
Dubba:	Yeah, but I hinted at it reel good... the idiuts didnt even knotice.
Arnold:	Ja, they were too busy sitting on their couches, shoving potato fries into their mouths. Flabby idiots.
Condoleeza Rice:	I know! They didn’t even notice that you slipped a bill through Congress to legalize the conscription of minorities!
Dubba:	Hay, who let you in bitch!

Then the whole thing sort of just breaks down as Arnold starts grabbing and fondling in the general direction of sweet African American hooters and Dick Cheney probably has a heart attack or something because it’s only the second time in his life that he’s ever seen a black person. I don’t know, maybe Bill O’Reily shows up, drops a couple “N-Bombs,” and then later apologizes for it, claiming that he’s never heard that particular word before. I’m not totally sure, it’s all very secretive... All I know is that I want to know what the joke is. Not being “in” of the joke is definitely one of my personal pet peeves; I can not stand it when people don’t have the bravado, or at least the courtesy, to make fun of me to my face. But maybe that’s just me.

To those of you on the West Coast, you can still catch it, those who missed it, you can check out videos and transcripts and such on The Sixty Minute website. Bush fans, you can actually get to see a moment where The W looks prepared, informed, and educated… Although, I’m sure that none of you actually own a computer, or live in a trailer park that has internet access, so I doubt that any of you will even be reading this. For everyone else, here are some of my highlights:

• Bush referring to himself at the “Educator in Chief.” Something that, at first, made me laugh, but then after remembering that it is an actual title and duty assigned to the presidency, made me cry a little.

• The freaked out looks on the president’s face every time he got asked a question about Iran’s future involvement in Iraq.

• When The W said that his friends showed him the Saddam Hussein hanging on the internet, but he couldn’t watch the actual hanging and shut it off before the trap door opened.
  
  The only reason I put this as a highlight is because, I’m pretty sure that the whole viewing party included ten-gallon hats, kegs, and a barbeque. In fact, it was probably a lot like a Brokeback Mountain Oscar-party, except without all the anal. (Well, okay, maybe a little anal.)

• Finally, and perhaps most entertaining, was watching Bush ‘wrassel with the urge to break the fifth plane. Classic entertainment for those of you film-major types.